They Will Kill You: Trope-y, Soapy, and Twisty

Intrigued by the premise, and a flat out love for horror that makes you laugh, I set out on this cinematic journey hopeful. Did I leave satisfied? Read on to find out.

Here at The Movie Reviews Nobody Asked For and Nobody Wants, we drop movies into one of three baskets:

Screen (worth the ticket price and best seen on the big screen),

Stream (good enough to wait and watch at home), or

Skip (don’t bother).

My opinion (which nobody asked for but you’re getting anyway): 

We've missed the window to screen it in theaters, but that's alright. Not quite worth the price of a movie ticket, but not a skip (unless blood and gore bother you.... Then run away as fast as you can), there are enough fun moments and sudden twists to make this worth a STREAM. It should be noted that as of the time of this writing, They Will Kill You is available to buy, though market experts imagine it will soon be available to stream on HBO Max.

⚠️ Spoiler Warning:

This review contains spoilers. If you’re spoiler-averse, check out my two-minute spoiler-free videos on TikTok or Instagram (@uninvited.reviewer). You’ve been warned.

The Movie Review Nobody Asked For and Nobody Wants:

My love for horror that keeps you guessing while making you laugh runs almost as deep as my love of Dr Pepper (real deep, people. REAL DEEP), so my excitement whenever a new horror-comedy releases is, as I’m sure you can imagine, pretty high.

While the semi-repetitive plot and lack of depth ultimately hold this movie back from being great, its good moments (and there are many good moments) keep it plugging along, even if it sort of drags itself past the finish line like a runner who forgot their Gatorade.

The heart and soul of this movie rest securely (and bloodily) on the shoulders of Zazie Beetz (Deadpool 2, Atlanta, Good Luck Have Fun Don't Die), who serves up a piping-hot platter of kick-ass as our final girl, Asia Reaves. A recently released parolee whose sole purpose is rescuing the sister she abandoned ten years ago (played by Myha'la), Asia could have easily become another cartoonish character in a lesser actor’s hands. Instead, Zazie digs into the folklore and emotional core of the role. She knows how to find the truth of a character, and through that (along with some mad fighting skills picked up while in the pokey) she absolutely dominates. Asia doesn’t give up, so neither does Zazie, even when fighting immortals or the devil himself. A particularly memorable moment comes when, confronted by overwhelming numbers of immortal devil worshippers and told, “It’s over,” she defiantly screams, “No, it’s not!” A moment that earns my personal chef’s kiss of appreciation.

The production design and execution are the other tent poles holding this movie upright, and hey-yo it couldn’t have been easy. Claps and snaps to the fully dedicated production design team, who somehow manage to pull off scenes in air vents, elevator shafts, pitch-black ballrooms, and endless identical hallways while still making everything look good. I can’t imagine figuring out how to film a shotgun blowing the head off an immortal devil worshipper inside an air vent was simple, but they make that (and every other bonkers special effect) look effortless.

The plot runs thin once the premise is fully revealed, which is a shame because I would have loved more backstory for the side characters (particularly those played by Tom Felton, Heather Graham, Paterson Joseph, and Patricia Arquette). In fact, if the movie had narrowed its focus and fleshed those characters out a bit more, it could have elevated itself into hall-of-fame territory.

But the movie is made, and there’s no use crying over spilled (fake) blood. Instead, we get an enjoyable, if not extraordinary, ride through a John Wick / Deadpool / Tom and Jerry mash-up. And hey, if that doesn’t provide at least a little enjoyment, that’s a you problem.